Remember your first day of high school?
The new guys seemed so cute, and your love life seemed so full of possibilities. But soon you knew all their names, who was cool, and who was weird. And now you've dated everyone you wanted to, or you don't click with the guys at your school, or you're tired of the high school drama — and you can't wait for college. You've heard the basics about college dating: more types of guys, more freedom, and more mature relationships (hopefully). But with close living quarters, no parents, and stressful classes, things get intense, and college has its own soap operas. Read on for the inside dirt you'd have no way of knowing until you're on campus — and need to know if you already are.
truth #1: hookups outnumber boyfriends
"The atmosphere is so charged with opportunities to hook up. Girls on my floor define a night's success by how many people we kiss.”
—LISA, 19, BOSTON COLLEGE
With so many different types of guys around, it's tempting to sample them all! Why not, right? Hookups can be fun, but a lot of times they're mini bombs that explode in one of two ways: into a relationship (rare!), or into misunderstanding, hurt, or just thin air. At the typical beer-soaked party (even if you're sober), you can't always tell which guys want a one-night thing and which ones truly like you. If you've been drinking, there's not always a trusted friend there to stop you from going too far with a guy you just met. Just like there might be things you're not telling him about your life, he could be hiding stuff too. What if that hot econ major has anger issues or a closet cocaine addiction? Meet guys and have fun, but stick with your friends at parties so you can watch out for one another. And don't make it a contest!
truth #2: things get way more intense
"I told this guy everything about me, so when he broke up with me a month later, it hurt that much worse."
—JENNY, 21, SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY
Relationships move faster in college, physically and emotionally. Basically, three months of college dating (where you can have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and late-night pizza with a guy if you want) is like a year of high school dating (when you're living with your parents' restrictions). New college couples tend to rush from the getting-to-know-you stage to the practically-living-together one. It's like they're addicted to their new freedom. And the more intense it gets, the more it hurts when it ends. So hold off before stocking your guy's shower caddy with your Venus razor. Not only can you lose yourself if you spend all your time with a guy, you also lose the time you'd spend meeting other guys and potential lifelong friends. Be sure to make room in your busy love life for the rest of your college experience.
"After some awkward mornings and 'walks of shame,' you realize you have to start setting new boundaries."
—SARA, 20, UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA
Love it or hate it: Dorms can be cesspools of debauchery! Living in the same building as guys creates interesting new situations (and vocab words!). There's sexile (when your roommate hooks up with someone in your room and you're shut out) and dormcest (dating people who live in your dorm). Dorm gossip can devastate your reputation more than high school gossip — you live with the people who know your business! Then there's the walk of shame: your trek home the morning after hooking up with a guy and sleeping in his room (it's actually against the rules at some campuses to stay over!). It's seen as a rite of passage, but doing it a lot won't make you feel great about yourself (the word shame isn't there by accident!). We know you'll pass college dating tests! Just watch out for the trick questions, okay?
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